Cntracast!

somewhat recently, i tried to get together a bunch of people i used to know to reconnect i guess. i also found out why i stopped talking to them. they do nothing all day. its frustrating to try to talk to someone and all they do is jackshit. or they'll respond with a single message.

to be honest i think i prefer that to someone constantly nagging to call and talk to me. (but it really depends on who we're talking about) there's someone i know, let's call them e, they're very fucking persistent about messaging me daily. i wouldnt mind it if e was capable of having an actual fucking conversation. like i talk to c and a pretty much every single day and i dont mind it at all. i actually really enjoy the daily conversation with them. let's compare it to e, now. the average daily "conversation" with them would consist of "hey" "hello" "whats new" "nothing" "wanna call" "no" "whatever" LIKE IDK. im not trying to be rude when i say no each time but they're exhausting to talk to. some people i find very draining to talk to, especially e. i dont find a or c draining to talk to though, idk why? is it that usually they're both a lot more relaxed? or is it that every single conversation with them isnt about the same damn topic each time? with e, it's usually them bitching about "the worlds gone to shit, the worlds gonna end, the government sucks" im fucking tired of it. e also calls ME dramatic when they're the one who leaves servers for attention.

im just tired of people who bitch about shit out of their control. i dont mind it when people complain about themselves or their flaws to me though. you know why? CAUSE I ACTUALLY KNOW THEM. why complain about the WORLD when you are powerless to fix anything involving it? why not focus on fixing things within your control? i told e this, i told e the social draining thing too. cause i didnt wanna be rude or whatever but i also still wanted to give them a reason for my opposition to call.

in recent news, ive become a sewerslvt fan. i know absolutely nothing about them as a person but apparently they did something really bad? idk but i do know that i liked "We Had Good Times Together, Don't Forget That" a lot. i dont cry to songs like at all. HOWEVER, the final track of this album made me cry a little. the only two songs that have made me cry have no real lyrics. im not even sure why i cried but i did.

i also found out about this really cool saturn game called "Baroque." its a saturn/psx game that got a remake on ps2/wii/switch and manga adaptation. i think its neat anyway, i can see why someone wouldnt like it. first person rpgs on the saturn are really weird to play with the dpad and you cant look up/down. i like it despite that though, it looks very odd? i really wanna read the man-gah (manga) but i know if i start another one i probably wont finish some of the others ive started. i also promised a friend id read another manga called "Hell Baby" before i found out about the Baroque one. still havent finished sotn, i have no fucking idea if im close but its honestly still really good.

i also still havent made the other pages for other shit yet. im sorry it might take a bit :(