Cntracast!

i think im a little too unstable to make a blog. not to mention if i did i would be too honest for my own good. writing this down is a little relieving. a little insightful too.

in recent news, segagaga finally got translated. this WOULD be very good if it wanst bullshit ai, fuck you whoever translated it using that. at least i care about my stupid fucking nerdy bullshit. my "friends" dont or at least dont show it. im more of a nerd than any of those people who are my "friends."

i dont like calling them that. ill refer to them as c and a respectively. c MAYBE is my friend i cant tell. a idk i try to be nice but i think it might come off sappy. sappy, cringey, gross, uncomfortable? i hope it doesnt.

music is nice. although im starting to see more ai in music. its absolutely appalling. i will never view it as a "tool" in any shape or form. everything has existed for so long without it, we never needed it. it's just useless bullshit being shoved absolutely everywhere. it also helps the already big issue of laziness. i sound like im conservative with how anti ai i am.

im a not exactly straight so, im not conservative. big supporter of trans rights too. i feel godawful for trans people, i feel very empathetic towards them as a whole, not exactly sure as to why? i technically, a long time ago was trans but since no one cared enough to respect my decision i just stopped trying. i hate grouping people together cause everyone is different but they all go through a similar struggle. c and a are both trans and my only "friends." ive hung around girls most of my life anyway cause boys my age are so fucking annoying. they're aggressive out of the blue, immature, and generally irritating. feel a little bad for grouping people my age together but its the only grouping i think i dont hate. it makes the most sense?

my brain is "foggy" all the time. i view it personally like a giant knot full of thoughts, all indescribable, all fighting for control, all winning just to loose to a new knot 5 minutes later. should i see a therapist? maybe if i had money. i'm poor, i live in a poor neighborhood.

if anyone on earth is reading this that means one of two things:
i actually got off my ass and made a website (yay)
i am dead and you're going through my shit

NO SUICIDE NOTES HERE, GAYS.

just empty thoughts for now. i wonder if i am actually considered emo or depressed. im very obsessive though, over people. i giggle when i think about someone i like for a prolonged period of time. i think of "disturbing" things, not intentionally, i cant control it, but i would do everything for someone i love. but they dont ever feel the same for me. its sad, why isnt anyone as mentally ill as ME DAMNIT. i have the ability to abandon almost everything i have for someone but no one would do that for me.

ive been in a sega saturn kick as of late. i also actually played a castlevania game for once AND IT WASNT SHIT. i dont particularly like castlevania 1 or 2, both ive tried to play. then i tried symphony of the night and holy fuck its actually a good game? probably make like a page about it in the future. a game blog? something?